Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Derf does Kuwait

So whats a boy to do in Kuwait when hes let out of the cage?

Deliver rice to starving under privliged Kuwaiti third country nationals. These are the indian and philipino servants who are misstreated by their employers and run away, so they go to a special place that helps them get new passports (usually held by the employer) and get them back home. Problem is that this place doesn't have enough supplies to feed everyone so we brough more. Kinda a feel good thing to do.

Of course on the way out I made a stop at a local eatery to partake in some of the culture. Yeh Kuwaiti style take out (traditional kuwaiti food) and coffee. I have yet to eat the food, but will be doing so very soon, that is my new years meal, sounds like a treat to me. Then some shopping, I bought a few local things, not much, but local style stuff (a good burka should teach kelly her role in life).

Tonight is the trip back to the other base, maybee some more internet, then bed, proably at 1201 local time, which is 8 hours ahead of eastern time.

Derf dun did and will comtinue to do kuwait.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Purgatory ain't all that bad

Having fun, taking names, doing some sight seeing, it's all good in the Kuwaiti hood.

I got some plans, it looks like I might be here for a little while, so I'm really just looking at what my options are. I really cant talk about specifics, but for at least one day i will be going out into the wilderness of kuwait and exploring some of the finer parts of the city.

Most of the rest of the other days I think I will be doing some exploring of the military bases in the area, It's just neat to go out and see the sights on the drive around the country. The way these people live is amazing, the class system rules supreme. The upper class is the prince Amir's imediate family, they are the bid dawgs, then comes his extended royal family (talking tens of thousands of people). After that is the Kuwaiti citizen class, who are also very wealthy. up to this point nobody works, and are paid very handsomly by the governemt for being who they are. After that you have third country nationals, US citizens are generally held in a much higher regard than indians or philipinos who are world cents a day for work, while americans are worth more here than in the states.

Everyone who is a Kuwaiti citizen lives in a mansion. A big honking mansion. They all have "workers" who work for cents a day being slaves and doing whatever they are told. Then for a summer house these rich folk set up these little camps in the desert and go party there for a few weeks at a time, sorta like a return to nomadic times, with slight modern amenities, like generators and all the stuff that makes being rich fun, like computers and stuff.

All in all a very cool country, plus the best part is that men get to choose their wives, all of them, so I can have a few if I really want to.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Purgatory

So i'm back in Kuwait (yes I wait). I will be stuck here till saturday which is cool with me, as long as I dont leave here before the first I get january tax free plus combat pay, plus a bunch of other money (yippie)!

So now is the waiting game, not much to do here other than practice my line skills, and by line skills I mean waiting in line. Yup a line for food, a line for computer, for phone, a line for everything. I'm almost an expert at it now.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The last night of Hannukah

So the same thing happens every year on the last night of hannukah, you light the last candle, and thats it, holiday over. This year not for me, I get to travel, far, very far, towards home (suhweet).

Tonight after we were done doing the official service, plus an extra hour plus of talking after, a few of us were standing outside smoking and talking about army stuff. One of my fellow Jewish Soldiers (Mr Secord) made the comment to me that this was the best hannukah he's had in 6-7 years, then he thanked us for coming out here, we shook hands, and he walked off into the night.

You get used to making friends in the army, friends that you spend a few weeks with, get to know very well, then they walk off into the darkness never to be seen from aga9in until you bump into them a few years down the line and repeat the cycle. It happens. The cool thing about these army friends is that everyone has a similar background, basic trainign, good units, bad units, explosions, kicking in doors, stuff like that. I can go anywhere in the world, sit down with another soldier for 5 minutes and know exactly where the guy came from what hes doing, and where hes going, its like a huge fraternity with lots of people.

I got to thinking about what he said, that this was the best hannukah hes had in years. I think he might have actually been speaking for the both of us.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Plans

We are going to be heading home soon, I dont want to leave just yet. One reason, TAXES. I don't pay taxes here. if i leave Kuwait on the 31st or before I pay tax for january, anything past 12:01 am on 1 January, and that month is tax free too.

Here is my next qunundrumm. This will be a very dry new years for me. I mean completely dry. So no puking in the bed thinging I'm in the livingroom trying to jump over the couch on my way to the bathroom. If you havnt heard the story about that one ask my lady friend, she tells it much better than I do.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Jew-Jitsu, the real Jewish super skill

Yesterday was the bazzar, lots of fun, and the big ket to remember is that nothing has a fixed price. You want a rug, $200, or we can settle in the middle at lets say $30. These guys are terrible at bargaining. I would shop around for something that I like, get a few good prices, and then zero in on my target. Towards the end of the bargainig I would drop the price a few more $$$$ (to less than the agreed price) and whip out the money and basically shove it in the guys hand. They never say no.

Even at a fraction of the original asking price, and less than the agreed upon price, where the deal was done at the biggest suckers shop, I still feel like I paid too much.

The only drunk in Bagram

yeup friday night means kiddish

Thursday, December 25, 2008

So today should be exciting

So it's common knowledge that all Jews have bargaining skills bred into them right? Well today it will be put to the test. Everey friday here on Bagram there is a bazar, and one of the things about the bazar is the ability to bargain for the best price on everything. Today I will be leading a contingent of bargain hunting jews through the deal making meccah of deal making. We will be comparing notes on how to get the best deal, the best way to talk to the shop keeprs and all around just being good little jews looking for the best price.

If only walmart was this much fun

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The two jews

There are 2 rabbis on a train, both of them are reading their favorite paper. One is reading the New York Times, the other is reading the Politzie (russian propaganda paper). The Rabbi reading the Times leans over and asks the other Rabbi why he reads the filthy propoganda paper that isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

He replies, "What, I like good news, see, look at first story, jews have all da money, next story, Jews are in charge, story after dat, Jews are taking over world, 'is good day to be a Jew".

Monday, December 22, 2008

From a different perspective

Here is the trip as told by my rabbi

http://blog.azrabbi.com/

I think it's hilarious how different our views can be. The 22 Dec entry, about half way down is this paragraph:

Some of the conversation is surreal- at one points they were all comparing weapons and their various preferences for more stripped down versions versus every high tech accessory. Then there was a whole discussion of where the best place is to put the tracer bullets in your magazine.

This was my conversation, the conversation actually surrounded different versions of the m16/m4/ar15 weapons family. Right now I am carrying the M16A3 version, which was introduced 3-4 years ago, most of the other peopl here are carrying the m4 which was introduced in the late 90's. Which is better? My opinion, the M16A3 is, except for one small change I would like to see, which is the adjustable butt, I prefer the shorter reach from my shoulder to the grip that the M4 offers, however the M16 has a longer effective range, higher exit velocity, and more general stopping power. The M4 has a much shorter barrel, and was designed for use in smaller spaces, such as in buildings, and city streets. Each has it's pluses and minuses. And for all the high tec accessories, yeh they are nice and all, but they all require batteries, which can easily run out if you leave it on, which means that you have to leave everything off until you need it, then when you do need it, it needs to be turned on, and fast.

The other half of the discussion was about where to put tracer rounds (the bullets that burn as they shoot, so you see where they are going. Sounds great right, you actually see the bullet shooting through the air, and where it hits! Well that also means that they see where it is coming from. It makes for a great visual reference for all. The magazines I have I loaded have 2 tracers in them, on on the top and one 3rd from the bottom. The one on the top is great. I can at any time pull out the magazine, look at the top bullet and see that there is a red tip , this tells me that the tracer on top is still there, and not loaded in the chamber of the gun, which would mean that the gun is ready to fire. No tracer = bad, Tracer on top = good, simple eh? The other tracer, 3rd from the bottom is the other reference, If I ever do need to fire it, while I'm shooting I have a cisial reminder that after a few shots, and I see the tracer go flying out , I only have 2 more shots before I have to reload, gives me a quick warning that I'm about to be out of bullets, and need to grab another magazine.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The first night of channukah

Holy shit, put 10 Jews in a small room and you got a party. Had a blast tonight, we hung out for 4 hours, and only left because everyone needed to go to bed. We lit some candles, played some dreidle, ate some gelt, blew the shofar a few times (yes wrong holiday, but it was fun). Hilarity, stories, jokes, laughter til my sides hurt. Gonna do it again tommorrow too.

On a slightly more depressing note, there are 4 undersea cables between egypt and italy that handle all the internet and phone lines for this part of the world. 3 out of the 4 were cut by a boat anchor that was dropped in the wrong place. The nearest boat that can fix it is steaming out of france. Supposedly there is a 20% internet slowdown in the US because there is a ton of traffic that is now being rerouted around the world through the US. India is supposudly in a complete blackout, so hope you don't need to call Gerry at the Dell call center, he probably wont pick up. I also dont think I will be able to call home for a few days, I keep getting a message saying that all circuits are busy.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Bullets and Booze

So now I have some bullets, and last night we went out and celbrated the shabbat, add a little wine and you have a party.

All is good here, I did some shopping at the bazzar yesterday, it was a very good time. I made some great deals. The initial prices were outrageous, of course being the good little jew that I am I lowballed them way down, and settles closer to my super low price than their super high price. I bought one carpet that the guy wanted $230 for, he swore up and down that it was hand sewn. I wound up talking the guy down to $30. He kept telling me that the carpet cost him $50 to buy and he was loosing money and I should pay more, so I would walk away with the money I had already pulled out of my pocket in hand. I wish walmart was this easy to save money at.

I'm also starting to see why everything here happens so slowly. Everything takes forever, and I mean like a few houres to do just one small item. I dropped my laundry off today, then to lunch. In the real world to drop laundry at a dry cleaners and each lunch would take maybe an hour and a half, here it took almost 3 full hours. Its sloooow.

So anyway thats all for now, just remember that i do have a gun now, with bullets, and some wine, so yes I am doing just peachy.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

MISSION COMPLETE!

I finally made it to Bahgram, I also made up a huge mission complete sign, except I'm just gonna turn around and go home soon instead of hanging around for the next 8 years.


Bahgram, is all nice and pretty but every one is stuck up and just generally a little too militarily for me, I liked the laid back atmosphere of Kandahar better. I also was severely lectured by some 1SG about me not having a clip loaded, apparently it was put out a while back that everybody needs to have 1 clip in the gun ready to go, so I pulled the one clip out that I had and showed him that I have yet to be given any bullets for said clip. So I slapped it in charged the charging handle and chuckled. If I have to shoot anyone I hope they get scared of me yelling out the word bang bang at the top of my lungs.

The accommodations here are very civilized, I have a nice (small room) in a very nice room, I prefer to call this place the crown plaza of the middle east.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go do some shopping at the bazaar, maybe buy some authentic Afghanistanie pet terrorist rocks, they are sorta like regular pet rocks except they explode when you try to pick them up.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

kid rock, cuban cigars and the best damn food in Afghanistan

So today was an interesting day, up before the sun, waited on my flight which was cancelled due to the weather, waited on a second flight, which was cancelled due to weather. So the next available flight is tommorrow morning, we shall try again.

In the mean time I am going to go see kid rock play tonight, I am expecting a front row seat, in the standing only section. I also bought a few cuban cigars, hopefully they will be better than the ones I brought in Jamiaca. I found them in the cigar aisle at the dutch store, which incidently didnt have any stroopwaffen (a bad ass snack).

Then for lunch i went over to the Brittish compund and had some incredible food. Really really good food. I mean really good.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Kid Rock and President Bush hate me

So far I have definately discovered that Kid Rock and Pres Bush hate me. Because of Bush's visit to Bahgrahm I couldnt get a flight there, the place is still locked down, and not recieving any incoming flights, I'm glad that I'm sitting here, pretty, fat and happy in Kandahar.

The only down side, Kid Rock is coming here to play, and his entourage has taken all the available empty hotel rooms. This leaves me to sleep in a conex (a big steel container box with no windows, the kind that they use to ship stuff on boats). It's actually kind of nice, it has a heater, air conditioner, refridgerator, and a bed, plus it is rigged for electricity.

Like I said so far both Bush and kid Rock have left me homeless.

Other than that, I'm having a blast, I went over to the boardwalk today to look around, stopped to get a meal at the european dining hall, and drove around exploring the base in a borrowed pickup. I think I might be able to get to Bahgrahm tommorrow morning through a private plane (think 8 person corporate leer jet), I have my seat resewrved and I'm number 1 on the list so my chances are looking pretty good.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

kuwait, no you wait

Still waiting for a flight. My seat on the last one dissapeared at the last minute. I had my hopes up for a minute there too, it really was looking good. For now I'm going to keep waiting, and sooner or later a plane will appear with a few seats on it, and when that day comes I will get on that plane and go forth.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

MIL Air

So the first flight that was available was way over booked, and it looks like I won't be able to go from Kuwiat to Bagram until the day after tomorrow. There were 15 seats available, and almost 100 people trying to fly. I found out about an hour ago that there was a flight going from Kuwait to Quttar early this morning, then later in the day there is a flight going from Quttar to Bagram.

Quttar also has much nicer facilities, like a pool, and ACTUAL buildings to stay in vs the tents i am surrounded by now. The choice was simple, fly to Quttar first, then if I have to stay it will be a little more civilized.

I also had a very good dinner meal, some kind of red and green tortallinis, shrimp and a lobster tail.

What can I say, war is hell.

I'm HERE!

Or almost there anyway. After an exciting week in Georgia (with no Internet, and too much booze), and a 30 hour flight I am finally in the middle east. The flight took 30 hours because we had two layovers, one in Bangore Maine, and one in Liftschuwitz Germany, each one lasting an hour. All in all it was a good flight, but unfortunately i got my hopes up when I got here. I was told that I was put on a flight right away to Afghanistan and it would be leaving at 8:30 tonight, then I found out I was bumped, and I will have to wait for a flight which may or may not be available tomorrow.

It's been fun, and I'm taking some great pictures, but my camera's USB line is locked away in one of my bags.

More to follow.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Pluggin' in

Isn't it funny how electronically connected we have become? I am doing my night-before preparations, most importantly charging all my farkles. I have my Ipod, cell phone, bluetooth earpiece, laptop, and digi cam all plugged in juicing up.  And that stuff is just for the plane ride!

I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a 110v outlet to charge from. No I actually do, I would turn my car on, plug in my AC/DC converter and charge everything off that. 

Derf the world

:)

I'm setting this up so that I don't have to email everyone who wants me to keep in touch while I'm away. I leave for GA tommorrow, and I;ll be in Georgia for the rest of the week, and expect to fly eastward the Saturday after.

Sorry if I don't provide too many details on where or when, I hope you understand that there is a certain need for the hush hush.

Wish me luck, and If I don't talk to you, I'll be home soon.